Grief – Getting Past A Loss In Sobriety

A close friend died two days ago.

It was devastating personally, and I was with her when she passed. My sobriety was tested, because I could not shake the weight of this suffocating grief. A drink would have helped in those moments where I just wanted to ease that pain and hurt.

Now, I think I should disclose an important fact: my “close friend” was my dog. I had to put her down at the veterinarian clinic. I spent hours wondering if I could make it through the next moment without drinking or just killing myself. And then I heard John B speak about the death of a son – age 21. His son was driving home and speeding, lost control and hit a tree. Death on impact!

And Ron M talked about a fire where he lost a child and his wife. All of a sudden I realized that while it’s always painful to lose a beloved pet, life can be very harsh for all of us, and my loss and grief was now measured against other men’s experiences with moving past the deaths of close family. In that moment, my self-centered focus changed, and perspective invaded my senses. Once I focused on life outside of myself, I could move forward with sadness without the crushing weight of grief.

That is the beauty of fellowship. We can acknowledge life’s struggles in ourselves and others without wallowing in egocentric, self-centered depression that grows larger and larger the more we focus on our own problems. So, yes, I had to euthanize a dog; John lost a son, and Ron lost his wife and daughter.

I went from suffocating grief to gratitude pretty fast. Yes, it hurts to lose a pet, but I have my life, health, family, financial stability and a stellar social circle. I will miss my sweet “Callie”, but today is a great day to be thankful for my blessings and an even better day to be sober.

Thank You!

Robert C